Wednesday, August 17, 2016


Sprawled on the floor at my Man's chair, freshly fucked and still cock-caged - hypnotically stroking the glossy perfection of my Man's new high shined Chippewa Patrol boots where He rests them on the rubber smoothness of my encased body...

My head is empty of everything - awash with the pleasure and Pride of having served Him and pleased Him: suffered and given my whole self to Him and the satisfaction of His needs - so focused on Him that I no longer have needs of my own. 

My body is slick with sweat under the rubber; my fuck-hole throbs and burns from His sustained attack, and my un-cum cock drips and aches within its plastic prison - and yet my body, mind and soul feels only the purest contentment. I am where I belong; I have served to the best of my abilities; I have pleased my Man. Everything else is unimportant; nothing else matters: my Man is content, and therefore, so am I.

Thursday, July 28, 2016

Snug. (#LockedLife in #chastity)

So, I'm trying chastity for the second time.

The new cage is a rather snug fit. Purposefully so. I hope not impossibly so. 

It's a curious feeling to be encased and 'out of reach'. The enclosure is comforting in a way: almost like the feeling of having your cock held tightly - but as soon as you become aware of the pleasantness of that feeling you start to get aroused - and then the snugness goes from comfortable, to tight, to painful VERY quickly... 

Having the most sensitive part of yourself sealed within unyielding plastic does something interesting to your head - even when you know that you hold the key. For most guys, their cock - and especially it's sensitive head - are the at the core of their sexual identity; we hold it subconsciously at the center of our awareness, even when quiescent: aware of the feel of our clothes or underwear as it holds us snug, or brushes that sensitive skin when we move. A cage removes a great deal of that 'passing' contact and places your cock into a vacuum of sensation - and having that sensation removed leaves a strange hole in the center of your identity.

And yet, even without those sensations, you are still aware of your cock. A part of you knows (and sometimes feels, often painfully) that your cock is there, locked away, snug and inaccessible. That awareness - and the realisation of what it means - keeps one part of your mind constantly aware of the *fact* of your cock - which is a weird feeling, because you know that there is absolutely nothing that you can do with it - you can't even feel it or touch it: just the cool hard plastic or steel that surrounds and control you...

And every time the reality of your caged flesh enters your mind, a little pulse of arousal makes the cage tighten and pull - only reminding you all the more that this flesh is no longer free to act as it will - or you wish.

I can see this would get very frustrating after a while - but it is also pressing some serious submissive buttons. If I also knew that my Man held the only key......

I tried a metal cage a few months back - and managed to wear it for a day or two. It felt 'interesting', especially with the extra weight of the metal - but unfortunately the cage was a little oversized and created rather too much of an inappropriate bulge under my work-clothes; it also allowed for a little too much 'expansion' room, which in itself became too distracting. The final straw was when I slipped half out of the retaining rings whilst running, and nearly ripped a ball off...

I did get to wear the cage for a play visit with my Handler though. Now THAT was an interesting experience. The extra room meant that I maintained a frustratingly semi-hard arousal, but the rough inner of the cage kept pushing that over into discomfort - and genuine pain if/when my PA ring got pinched inside the pee-slot.

I am normally very focused on my Man and HIS cock whenever we play - and that focus has only become stronger over the years of my submission to Him. My own cock may be hard and dripping whilst I work His boats, bathe His cock with my tongue, or slip Him deep down into my throat and core - but my hands never really stray down to touch myself, and my attention is always purely on Him and HIS Pleasure, and never really my own. Afterall - HIS pleasure is *my* pleasure - and serving His needs and His COCK gives me a greater satisfaction than I could ever achieve through my own. I know that if He wishes His pup to cum when with Him, then it will be HIM who milks me and makes that happen, not me...

Having my cock locked should have meant that it became 'irrelevant' during our meeting, but the cage played a strange game with my head: emphasising my sex to myself, even whilst it removed my ability to do anything about it. The sensation of the metal pressing and restricting the soft flesh was also a constant distraction - even whilst the painful pull on my balls would force any full hardness to subside. That strange dichotomy between awareness and frustration really pressed some serious buttons in my submissive head...

Getting fucked whilst caged was the ultimate experience of submission: HIS cock become the only one in the room, and my hole the sole focus of my sexuality. EVRYTHING became contracted to the feel of Him inside me, and the perfect thrust and swell of Him taking His pleasure from my body and core. The tightness of the cage and the pulling pain it created in my balls kept me from getting hard, and also seemed to keep my sensitive hole from becoming over-excited - which meant that my Man was able to fuck me much longer and harder than He has before - right to the very edge of cumming inside of me.

Or maybe it was simply the deep submission that being caged instilled in me: my cock, my pleasure - none of it was of importance: only HIS pleasure mattered, and my body was there simply to experience whatever HE wished or hungered to do to it. Pleasure or pain - either was irrelevant: they were simply sensations to be experienced in the echo and shadow of His pleasure and His gift.

It was a feeling I've come close to, but never fully experienced - and it created the perfect wave of submissive joy through my whole being.

It was the most intense feeling then when Master finally unlocked me and let me get hard: all my denied focus suddenly rushing to the feel of my hyper-sensitive head within the hard, slick grip of His gloved and lubed hand. I was suddenly so horny and desperate that I think I actually cried. That cum: with Him still inside me, Hand stroking and pumping streaked fountains of pup-juice from my arching body - well, it was one of the best I have had in a very long time.

I wonder when I might be allowed to cum again...

Thursday, May 26, 2016

'Pups are people too' - aftermath of the #HumanPups

It was a rather anxious and worried pup that sat on the sofa with my partner last night, waiting for 'The secret life of human pups' to start on Channel 4 - and with one eye on the twitter #HumanPups feed. Would the film be the 'heartwarming examination of the scene' that the Director had promised? What parts of my interview would the Director have chosen - and how would we all come across on screen? How would the community react - and what would the rest of the world make of our 'coming-out'...?!

I am so relieved to see that, in general, the response has been very positive. Sure, there's been a fair share of 'WTF?' from the general public on twitter - and even a few 'you should be shot!' haters - but they were far outweighed by the 'fair enough', and 'each to their own' responses that I would expect from a country who loves and embraces eccentricity. There's even been some very insightful reporting in the more 'quality' newspapers like The Guardian and even the Telegraph

So much of the film was focused around Spot. I am amazed at how brave he was in baring his soul quite so deeply - and how sensitive and heart-rending Guy's editorial was in showing the real person behind the latex mask. Rachel came across as a true brick, and a genuine friend - but it would have been nice to see a little of the softer side that I am sure is there in Colin. I fully understand Colin not wanting to air his feelings about the dynamic with Rachel, but Spot's head-hanging reaction to His 'I'm not discussing this on camera' was genuinely heart-rending. It made me feel so incredibly lucky that my own partner and Handler are such good friends with absolutely no jealousy between them...

It was a shame that Spot didn't win the Mr Puppy Europe competition; we all love you anyway, you sweet and adorable pup!

There has been some interesting debate in the community around the regular insistence, particularly from Kye of PuppyPride that puppy play is 'Absolutely NOT sexual' - and that the film focused entirely on male pups (many of whom were straight). I think that was a very considered chosen angle, aimed at softening the blow for a viewing public who were already in a high state of shock and confusion from the very concept that some people like to dress-up and act like pups... focusing on the sexual and gay BDSM-scene aspects would have risked turning the film into a 'kinky perverts' sort of expose, and so I feel that Guys choice to focus on the man inside the suit was a good choice.

Besides, Spot was chosen to feature because of him being the current Mr Puppy UK - as such, it was only fair that he get to express what pup-play means for *him*. I think there was still enough reference to the fact that other pups have a strong fetish background in the 'chorus' parts, and there was also lots of more sexualised play shown in the shots of play at Mr Pup Europe to show that pup play can be a broad and inclusive community.

A shout out also must go Andy and the PupSocial. Andy came across as such a deeply kind and caring guy (just as I personally know Him to be from the interactions I've ad with Him) - the *perfect* Handler for his love and concern for the pups under His care and protection. The shots of his Pup Social, and how much *fun* it looks goes to show why it's the biggest puppy event in the country.

As to myself - I'm fairly happy with how my own contribution was presented. It was embarrassing enough to see my hooded head come up on screen, but I must admit to a total 'oh fuck! that's me outed then...!' moment when Guy included the full-body/tattoo-sleeve shots of me at the piano...

I think Handler was relatively happy too. He was busy at home with His partner, so we couldn't get to watch it together. We did chat afterwards though and He said He was very proud of His pup being on screen. And I guess, that's all that really matters.

Most of all, I'd like to say a 'Thank you!' to Guy and the production crew at Fire Cracker Films. I know there were a few issues that meant you were unable to present exactly the film that you had planned, but I still think you created the genuinely heart warming film that was your original intent. Thank you - I think you did our little community proud.

Wednesday, May 25, 2016

#HumanPups: 'we're just the same as any person on the high street'

In advance of tonight's Channel 4 Firecracker films documentary, Nell Frizzell from The Guardian spoke to KazPup, ZentaiSpot and myself about all things Puppy-play and headspace.

Nell was very sympathetic to the idea of anthro-play (we shared a giggle about both galloping around the garden as kids, pretending to be horses and wolves...!), and was very interested in the therapeutic element of puppy play as letting go of the rational self to embrace a more primal self - we even talked about the Jungian concepts of the transformational power of the mask, and embracing the archetypal idea of  the Dog as protector and 'faithful companion'.

I think Nell wrote a rather interesting and insightful little piece - one which I hope will reflect the healthy diversity of the scene. If you wish, you can read it online here:

Thursday, May 19, 2016

#Headsup! '#HumanPups' documentary, Channel 4, Wednesday 25th May at 10pm

A few months ago, I was contacted by Guy from Firecracker Films, asking if I'd like to take part in a new documentary film he was making about the puppy play community.

I'm glad to say that the film is now completed, and will shortly be broadcast on the UK's Channel Four on the 25th May at 10pm; with luck, it will then also be available on their catch-up services for those not in the UK to be able to view.

I've not seen the film yet, but if you'd like to see the short trailer, it's available now on YouTube:

Guy had hoped that I'd be able to be one of the main 'characters', and talk from the perspective of a long-term pup - unfortunately, my employers were concerned that my being involved might bring them into 'disrepute', and so we had to keep my contribution shorter and more anonymous than we'd hoped. I think we still managed to make some informative and insightful comments...

Watch, enjoy - and let me know what you think!

Friday, April 22, 2016

Playtime at #Osterfest 2016: flogging at Qualgeist

Sir and I had lots of fun at the various Puppy events at this years Ostefest - but it wasn't all just puppy-dog tails and chew-toys...

One of the best nights out was at Qualgeist - a great bondage club run by a cooperative out in Mehringdamm. Like many places in Berlin, the club was tucked in the ground floor of an old apartment building, four or five courtyards back from the main road. It is small, but it was one of the best equipped clubs I have ever visited: with multiple cages, bondage chairs and beds, slings, a St Andrews Cross and a fantastic hoist set up within the main room - with a 15 foot high ceiling...! 

They don't believe in cramming in the punters either, so there was lots of room to play without being bumped or stood on (or a getting hit by a stray flogger). It does mean that they aren't the easiest club to get into, however: get there early because once they're full, the doors close and you have to wait until someone leaves. We avoided the main party night, but we still ended up queuing in the cold for a good hour before we got in; not that I really minded though: I had my Man to keep me warm after all...

Once we had got in and stripped out of our boilersuits, Sir clipped His lead to my collar and led me around the club to explore what was on offer. There were several pups about (all on 2 legs), and lots of guys trying out the equipment; we also caught up with a couple of nice UK skin guys who we've met at several events before, and got to watch them doing a little trampling demonstration.

Sir took us both upstairs so that I could get into pup-mode. We found a great space with a huge padded bondage bed in it where a couple of fully suited and helmeted bikers were tying another biker down: it made for the most amazing and sexy demonstration - especially when the biker-Dom finally climbed on top of His helpless buddy and slowly humped him into a muffled orgasm - lidded heads pressed close together to see their faces through the fogged-up visors...

We padded around for a while - the pup hooded and on all fours. There was plenty to see, from guys getting mercilessly tortured in the bondage chair, or slowly mummified in layers of rubber tape, to beautiful displays of rope-containment and slow fisting in the slings.

We gave a little to the action too - with my Man letting me drive Him to knee-buckling pleasure, licking and sucking Him with all the training and talent I could raise...

Finally, Sir led me back to the main room where He'd spotted a nice St. Andrews Cross; there He had me strip my semi-transparent rubber surf-suit to expose my bare back, and cuffed my hands up onto the wood. The air felt cold against my skin after the wet warmth of the rubber - but Sir had plans to warm me up by breaking in the new heavy leather flogger He had bought at Boxer when I bought my hood...

Damn, but the heavy leather felt good. Sir started slowly - whispering the tongues across my back and shoulders - getting the feel for the balance and swing of the new flogger, and carefully watching His dog's reactions. He needn't have worried: there was no biting or cutting from the soft leather, just a blissful shudder as the solid weight caressed my skin. Slowly, Sir stepped back: giving Himself more room to swing the flogger and test its weight - each blow subtly rising in power and weight, slowly teasing me with heightened awareness. We started to gather a small crowd of appreciative watchers, and so I leaned outwards, hung my head, and spread my back wider: opening my body in sacrifice to my Man; I heard Him growl in appreciation - and felt the buzz and flow of power ramp up between us as His blows ramped up harder, faster - and the hard concussive power of His will spread warm pain across my skin and deep into my muscles.  

Flogging is an immensely sensual  experience to watch: the arc and fall of the whip, the whistle and thud of leather upon flesh, the drifting smell of warm leather and sweat, the breathless grunt of the Master's swing and the bitten-gasps of pain from the sub.. It looks so impressive - but nothing can compare with how it feels.

It's not about the pain. Not really. The pain of each blow is intense, but curiously fleeting - a sudden, heavy touch across the skin, and then gone. Each blow feels like a crushing hug, focused into a split second of sensation; there is an intensity to that feeling: a connection between you both that is all the more powerful for it's brevity. But, each blow builds upon the last - a lingering, stinging, kiss that slowly warms the flesh, shudders through the muscles, eats down into your heart and your soul. The longer and harder those blows rain upon you, the deeper you are forced into yourself - and the more open you feel. Your body aches, your skin burns - and yet you find yourself leaning outward: spreading your shoulders, rounding your back - begging for more with your aching flesh. Each blow becomes a step closer to an unseen but ultimate goal: complete surrender and total communion with the Man behind the flogger - the God who blesses you with the transforming power of His pain...

And then it is over - and He steps close to you. Your shuddering body feels the HEAT of Him radiating into you. He touches you, strokes a hand across you - breathes upon you; every cell and fibre of your being is sensitised, humming, open, raw - you FEEL Him more intently, more intensely than you could ever imagine possible. Your body trembles, your mind reels within a warm sea of surrender - and then He finally enfolds you in His arms: pours all the energy that you have surrendered to Him back into you - ninefold, a hundredfold - radiating from Him and into you, and reflected back from the shuddering core of yourself back to Him. Those moments feel as though you have both stripped bare your souls - climbed out of your skins and connected on a level beyond the organic.

It's the most amazing feeling I have ever felt.

Sir took us for a drink, and then another little tour of the play space; when we came back, we noticed that the Hoist arrangement was free - and I totally begged to be allowed to give it a try...!

The flogging on the Cross was amazing - but I think the experience of the entire weekend had to be then: winched up into the roof high above Sir's head: suspended by my booted ankles and spinning free in empty space - seeing my body gravity-stretched and turning in the mirrors that surrounded the room, the lights dancing over my inked and sweat-shined flesh - looking down at a circle of men far below who had gathered to watch as Sir lowered me slightly, then tied and restrained my hands to bolts in the floor so that my body was stretched tawt: racked in space as He slowly flogged me back into spinning submission, sweat dripping from me, each drop rainbow bright in the lights as it fell to pool upon the floor beneath me... and then, finally lowering me enough so that my head was the right height for Him to take my throat and release the tensions He had built through the night - gently pushing me forward and back, my helpless body and hungry throat swinging onto Him and off, without any effort on His part....

Oh yes - that was an experience that will burn in my memory for a very very long time. 

#Puppy-play at #Osterfest Berlin - the Video!

I posted last week about the grand fun we had at the various puppy play events organised for the BLF Osterfest weekend - well Ron Berlin has made a film of the walking tour the puppy group made to the Tiergarten, so now you can watch all the fun for yourself:

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